“What is your biggest challenge right now?” Buss Brauer asked me.
“Figuring out where our market is and who would be the ideal customer. Obviously, anyone that wants to buy is our customer, but I feel very spread across the board, to a point where I am not sure where I should be looking. Large market? Medium market? Small market? Government? Academia? I’ve sold to all of them which is made it hard to determine where best to focus my efforts.”
I thought it was a good reply. It was truthful, specific… I thought at the very least it sounded intelligent.
“What about at home? Is the identification of your target market the number one challenge in your life?”
“Well no… If I am being honest, I’d say dealing with my ex-wife creates problems. As does my wife dealing with her ex-husband. Both our ex’s are a pain in the–”
“Your ex-wife is your biggest challenge? She has that big of a role in your life?”
“No, she doesn’t. OK… I think the biggest challenge I have is getting out of bed every day. I don’t know if it’s Depression – I’ve been diagnosed before and am not real good about taking the prescribed medication – or laziness, or what. But I will say many days it is almost impossible to get out of bed. And once I’m up, it is hard to find the motivation to do my job or even play with my kids.”
“Gotcha… That’s interesting. Because when I see you speaking in front of audiences, meeting new prospects for the first time, or just talking to someone on the phone, you don’t seem depressed. Quite the opposite, actually.”
I am not sure where Buss is going with this line of questioning, or why. If he is going to tell me Depression doesn’t exist, I am prepared to agree with him. I am also prepared to disagree with him as well. Regardless, arguing about psychological issues is not how I expected to spend the next 30 minutes of my life.
“My point is, I bet not one person you interact with knows or thinks you are battling Depression. That Depression is one of your biggest challenges,” Buss said. “What do you think my biggest challenge is?”
“I’d imagine you being blind is pretty challenging,” I said.
“You’re right, it is pretty challenging. But it is no where near the top of my list of difficulties in life. Being blind is just one of many things I deal with. It is just the most obvious part of my life to the outside world, but that doesn’t make it the most significant issue I face.
“Everyone has problems. One of those is the most significant challenge they face. Something is weighing heaviest on every person’s mind. It could be problems with a marriage, or kids. It could be with health. Maybe it does have to do with work. But we all have something that is most significant in our lives.
“You and I may have the exact same issue, and it may be the one that is most challenging in your life. But it may only be third or fourth on my list of difficulties. Other people may be living a charmed life and their biggest problem is figuring out color Corvette to buy.
“The point is, we all have a problem or an issue that bothers us most. Blindness was my biggest challenge for many years. Until I acknowledged it and sought help for it. We as people seem to always want to do things on our own. Maybe we don’t trust the help other people are offering. Maybe we are embarrassed. I don’t really know to be honest. But we do seem to instinctively try to do it on our own first before seeking outside help.
“Problems in the marriage often use counseling as a last resort. Money problems? You try to cut your expenses before seeing an advisor. We always want to solve things ourselves first.
“The size of our problems is exactly the same size as our egos. When we experience humility, our ego and arrogance will start to shrink, and so will the problem we are dealing with.
“My life was not going well in my early 20’s. I was angry most of the time. The times I wasn’t mad, I was getting ready to be mad. Happy people irritated me the most. Think about that. People that were happy made me angry simply because they were happy and I wasn’t. How messed up is that?
“My wife finally told me she couldn’t do this anymore. Me being blind didn’t bother her. I was blind before we got married and there was no expectation I would regain my sight. What she didn’t find acceptable was my attitude and outlook on life. She told me I had to fix it, and fix it now.
“So I got humble and accepted that I needed help. My vision wasn’t coming back, and it was about time that I addressed how to live in a world I cannot see. Long story short, I got a guide dog, learned to stand up straight, look people in the eyes, or at least do my best to look people in their eyes, and walk with confidence.
“I had to understand I was going to fail and know that with each failure I got closer and closer to success. In fact, I looked at it like I had to fail a certain number of times in order to reach my destination. So rather than get frusterated by the failure, I viewed it as part of the process to success. I actually wanted to fail because I felt like I was checking them off the list. Like, I have to fail 10 times and then I will be successful on the 11th try. So rather than procrastinate or never start at all, I wanted to go out and fail ten times as fast as possible so I could get to the success sooner.”
The comments Buss made sounded like a giant cliché. Though it did get me thinking about way I see things. Yes, everyone fails. There are stories about Sam Walton filing bankruptcy several times before he made Walmart a success in route to becoming the wealthiest man in the world. Of course failure is a part of growing.
It was just interesting to me thinking about other people. People seem to show either their best face or their worst face, with nothing in between. There are people who don’t ever appear to have an issues with life, and give off this show that they are floating through life uninhibited. Other people are always down and complaining.
The better we get at acknowledging a problem, using the countless resources that are available to us to resolve it, and relying on the people in our lives who often can provide experiential assistance that is of use to us, perhaps the better able we will be at battling past the many challenges that are a part of daily life.
Solomon once wrote nothing is happening for the first time… It has all already happened to the generations before us. Blindness, Depression, bankruptcy, divorce, death… It has all happened already and will happen again in the future. The only aspect that changes is how I personally choose to address it.
And to whom I turn towards for help and guidance.
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